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A Sex Educator’s Message to T.I.

"My doctor's virginity test haunts me 11 years later." Sex educator Cassandra Corrado has a message for T.I. and anyone who thinks virginity testing isn't traumatic.

No laws at the federal or state level ban virginity testing

When it comes to broaching the topic of sex with your kids, no one is perfect. It’s an awkward, goofy and almost painfully real conversation to have. And, of course, paired with the layers of stigma, anxiety, and patriarchy of-it-all, it’s a fraught issue that leaves a lot of room for discomfort and misunderstandings. Sex educator Cassandra Corrado got candid about virginity testing after hearing about rapper T.I.’s annual OB/GYN visits with his daughter, Deyjah. “I will say, as of her 18th birthday, her hymen is still intact," T.I. shares with on the Ladies Like Us, Podcast. Corrado wrote an article detailing her own experience of what happened when she went in for birth control pills.

“To T.I., my childhood doctor, and anybody else who thinks that virginity testing is real or reasonable: please stop doing this. Every single time you look at them and question what they're doing with their body or you place judgment on how they're taking care of it or what shape it is or anything, you're telling them that their body is ultimately yours because you helped make it or you helped take care of it. And that's not the message you want to be giving your kids. So please. Be better at your job. My doctor’s virginity test haunts me 11 years later. And as a 15-year-old, I didn't realize that you really should be going to a gynecologist for all of your pelvic care. I was just like; he's a doctor and all doctors know everything. And I was really wrong. Hearing somebody say, good girl, I felt so dirty and gross and nauseated and judged because the reality is that I was already having sex and so if I was a good girl because I supposedly wasn't having sex yet,” Corrado tells Brut.

Corrado adds that it’s not uncommon for parents to be afraid to bring up sex or to be worried they won’t have the right answers or the right words to stumble through the conversation. But you can’t let that fear of an awkward unknown keep you from giving your kid access to the information they’ll inevitably need. Now, Corrado holds sex education workshops across the country.

Brut.

11/26/2019 11:19 AM
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85 comments

  • Tereina E.
    a day

    Does anyone know if T.I.'s daughter is ok with the test?

  • Naomi R.
    a day

    Dang you know what’s crazy is that the mom went with them. Like the daughter said this happened when she was younger and it was her and her mom and her dad came too. Wasn’t in the room. Nothing. Like also they don’t do it to their 18+ year old daughter. Out here on social media people take things out of contex and flip them

  • Krystal L.
    2 days

    I think ur stupid

  • Nikki J.
    3 days

    Some people in these comments are really ignorant and uneducated. *Cringe*

  • Alexandria F.
    4 days

    I’d tell my daughters when the day comes if they feel like they are in love enough to be willing to give themselves intimately to tell me so I can make sure they’re doing it safely, it’s important to have a conversation with your kids about sex and letting them know once you give yourself to someone in that way it can’t be undone and you might end up together forever or might not and to be picky about who they share their body with because it really is a gift you can only give once

  • Tanisha W.
    4 days

    But no one is judging the mothers who do this 🤦🏽‍♀️ and believe me there are plenty of them.

  • Kelsi W.
    6 days

    I cant believe how many people defend his actions. Then again birds of a feather flock together.

  • Lee B.
    7 days

    GIGGITY

  • Justine E.
    12/05/2019 05:17

    The 👏 hymen 👏 doesn't 👏 work 👏 like 👏 that 👏

  • Linda K.
    12/04/2019 21:05

    Strict parents create sneaky kids. Keep policing their bodies and watch how fast they turn on you. And if your solution is to beat them, then you’ve already failed. Abusive parents will probably laugh/angry react but honestly? Just wait....

  • Elli M.
    12/04/2019 12:41

    I mean how do we teach our kids basics rights like privacy if we don't allow them to use those rights? Dont minors have any rights to their own bodies?

  • Tiffani M.
    12/04/2019 05:53

    A parent has the right to try and stop sexual acts early in life. If more did it we would have less babies having babies. They are called children for a reason. The only thing he did wrong was talking about it to the public.

  • Gwen M.
    12/03/2019 22:54

    How degrading!

  • Kimberly M.
    12/03/2019 22:32

    You do ur daughter's and we'll do ours. My children has no rights. In our home i rule. Nothing to question, im the caregiver and protecter. Every ones happy

  • Aunica B.
    12/03/2019 19:11

    What’s really wrong about this is it tells you nothing and is useless trauma for the kid. All this does is assert dominance over the child’s body. The hymen can break without sex and it’s not unusual .

  • Kimberly K.
    12/03/2019 03:19

    Has anyone even asked her about what she feels on this situation? Maybe she's genuinely ok with this. Not saying its right but you honestly don't know until you've asked the person its being done too.

  • Patricia P.
    12/02/2019 16:46

    CREEPY is what it is. What happens if shes not a virgin ? Is he going to disown her?

  • Brenda V.
    12/02/2019 15:53

    He's a perv!!!!

  • Sheen S.
    12/02/2019 03:21

    okay he said he wants a doctor's with it and make sure that she was still a virgin he didn't say anything about her body the way it looks anything like that once again another person take it out of content

  • Michelle E.
    12/02/2019 02:37

    It's a parents job to question what their children are doing with their bodies. Wtf. Lady don't worry about that man and his family.